In a Time of Universal Deceit, Telling the Truth is Revolutionary.
Monday, June 17, 2024

Congress does not understand

The Senate passed a bailout plan for the banks late last night. What started out as a 3-page crap sandwich has now ballooned into a nearly 500 page crap sandwich with some added topping to entice more support. Americans must be hungry because we are about to eat this crap sandwich and make our kids and grandkids pay for it.

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Sex With Teacher

Dedicated to Doug Thompson

Here’s a report from a Nashville news station:

Because she’s pretty, I’ll bet she gets about six months suspended.

In case anyone was wondering whether this was an epidemic or not:

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Dilemma at the Voting Booth

Is it just me, or are the choices this election year the worst in living memory?

Both the major candidates support the grand theft of almost $1,000,000,000,000 from the American taxpayer to buy assets that are already known to be worthless – but the purchases will prop up the value of the stocks that line the pockets of this administration. It’s the worst robbery in living memory.

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Dear Senator Biden

Dear Senator Biden — During your debate tonight, please do two things.

1)Resist the temptation to interrupt Sarah Palin. The more she talks, the more people get to see how ignorant she really is.
2)Resist the temptation to be condescending to Sarah Palin. The last thing I want to listen to over the weekend are the pundits talking about how you made her look good.

Senator, you should win this debate hands down. The only way you can win is if you make people feel sorry for her.

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Breaking news!

Friday, October 3, 2008 — After Sarah Palin’s failure to turn up for the debate against her Democratic opponent last night, embarrassed Republican campaign officials confirmed that they had indeed been unable to find her to get her to St. Louis last night. They also admitted that they had not been able to contact her for the past five days.

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When all else fails, try bribery

On Capitol Hill, they call it "sweetening the pot." Out in the real world, it’s called bribery.

Whatever you call it, proponents of the $700 billion bailout of Wall Street, banks and the financial industry are loading up the legislation with pork, inducements and favors for members of Congress in exchange for the votes needed to pass the bill when it hits the floor of the House of Representative on Friday.

At last count, the bribes will add at least $120 billion to the cost of the bailout.

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McCain’s proliferating Palin problems

Republican Presidential nominee John McCain’s Palin problems continue to mount as the gaffe-prone vice presidential nominee wanders aimlessly from one screw up to another, showcasing her lack of knowledge on foreign affairs, domestic problems and other issues facing the country.

Fresh off her embarrassing interview last week with CBS News anchor Katic Couric, Palin stumbled again this week when she was unable to name a single Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade that she disagreed with. After stammering about "many cases" that she said warranted review, Palin could not come up with a specific case.

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When populism gets out of control

The parody rockumentary "This is Spinal Tap” features a scene in which a fictional rock band’s manager defends a particularly idiotic decision by pointing out that he was merely following the instructions of Nigel Tufnel, the band’s profoundly clueless lead guitarist.

Lead singer David St. Hubbins replies, "But you’re not as confused as him, are you? I mean it’s not your job to be as confused as Nigel."

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McCain, Obama & the flying pinata

Right after Hurricane Ike struck Galveston, Texas, a TV news reporter was out describing the devastation. She gave an account of how in one part of the community, the storm lifted a beach house, sending it airborne, and slamming into another beach house. In a voice with rising decibels, the reporter said, "It was like, like a pinata."

The imagery was perfect: A flying house, like a missile, clobbering a stationary one, with the debris scattered everywhere.

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