The GOP’s secret plan to save its future

America’s 19% party has a problem. Actually, it has several problems. Just when it should be celebrating the 200 yr birthday of its most popular leader, the man who put the GOP on the map, today’s GOP split its time attacking a popular president on one hand, and demanding top level income tax, capital gains tax, and corporate tax cuts on the other. 

Abraham Lincoln would not be proud. When he took the fledgling GOP into the White House, a possible civil war had been a topic of serious conversation for 20 years. One state had already seceded, and other southern states were making threats. Lincoln took a nation that was collapsing and through personal strength, leadership, toil, sweat and many tears, he brought the country back together. In the process, he issued his Emancipation Proclamation, he eradicated the biggest stain on America’s great experiment  (slavery), he promised democracy for all (although suffrage would take a bit longer) and he set the stage for 140 years of growth, uneven, unequal growth, to be sure, but still growth. 

What happened to the Abraham’s grand old party? The party of vision, of dreams, of hard work, of patriotism, fairness, and of empathy for all? Which party created national parks? Which party created the EPA? Which party created SALT agreements with the USSR? Which party passed anti-slavery legislation?

Since the Neocons hijacked it in the late 1980s, that grand GOP has been pretty much eradicated. Just look at those who purport to be its psychological leaders and idea makers. 

Rush Limbaugh. "I want him (Obama) to fail. I want his plan to fail. I want him to fail badly."  Translation from rushspeak:  If Obama succeeds, people will finally realize that the bull I’ve been spinning for a decade was all false. I’m in trouble." 

Newt Gingrich: I favor tax cuts and the outright elimination of taxes. Barack Obama has already hit the wall. His nominees have failed, and his economic stimulus package won’t work. "Could have been a bi-partisan bill. Could have been a real effort to help the economy. Frankly, the left wing of their party took it over and decided to make it a big spending and big government bill."

Funny. If you checked Newt’s words from 1993 and compared them to today’s, you would be hard pressed to find any difference. 

OK, Newt, let’s look at tax cuts. Capital Gains Tax Cuts? Are you shitting me? On October 1, 2007, based in very large part on Wall Street’s derivatives frauds, the Dow hit 14,087.55.

Friday, the 13th? Not so much. Try 7850.41. 

Newt, can you and your other village idiots please explain how a Capital Gains tax will help anyone, WHEN THERE AREN’T ANY CAPITAL GAINS? 

What about Corporate taxes?.  Some Corporate taxes are based on corporate net income. Some call it profit. Others are based on payroll. Some call that a payroll tax. HOW CAN YOU CUT CORPORATE TAXES when there are no profits and when payrolls are being slashed at every turn? 

Income taxes? Oh, good one, Newt. Go ahead and cut the income taxes on the millions who lost their jobs in the last six months. I am sure that they will be grateful. 

That leaves us with the three remaining (ahem) leaders of the party. 

Eric Cantor, Mike Steele, and Sarah Palin. 

Sarah Palin (Idiot- Alaska) What is so fascinating about Ms. Palin is how she gives "oblivious" a bad name. Chutzpah and reading from a tele-prompter do not a leader make. Even with a short skirt. Given the choice of watching a fully loaded ammo train, carrying 1,000 new born infants, go off a mountain bridge and blow up, or watching Sarah adlib in front of a camera, even I admit it would be a hard choice. 

Poor Mr. Steele (RNC). What a fitting name, now that there is a federal investigation of how he used campaign funds as a slush fund to aid family members. No wonder the GOP is unconcerned about the RNC Chair’s legal problems. His crimes are microscopic compared to what the GOP did in Iraq and DC. You know how those fancy CF bulbs save electricity by using much less energy? Steele saves energy simply because he is a dim bulb. Of course, you would have to be, if you thought that being in charge of a failing, flailing regional party would be fun. 

Eirc Cantor (Va-R). Now, here’s a piece of work. In February 2007, AFTER his party lost and lost big, he was still pushing for a preemptive war against Iran. His AIPAC puppet masters demanded nothing less.  If you don’t recall the time, we had two huge carrier groups running exercises right up against Iran’s border, 24 hours a day. Dick Cheney was pulling for preemptive attacks within the White House. Cantor was carrying his water in the House. Tell us straight, Mr. Cantor, are we better off by following your AIPAC masters’ demand for Iranian war, or are we better off talking to them? No, please, take your time. 

Eric’s current spin? Newt’s Tax Cuts are our God, and, We Are the Party of No. Now there’s a path to guaranteed success, Eric. What a plan! Even better, his idea of compromise still is "WE win, you lose," regardless of the issue. Eric, where were you when your president and your majority party ran up trillions in debt, when you took the Trillion in Iraqnam costs off the books, and you ignored your congressional duties on so many critical issues? No, Please. take all the time you need. 

OK, so there’s not much to work with. A party with no real  leaders, no real  ideas, (except bad ones that have repeatedly failed badly), a party without a clue, relying on idiots that Hollywood would never hire because even actors aren’t that brain dead. It is now a regional party, hemorrhaging support faster than Bernie Madoff lost assets. Except for a few empty western states, its power is concentrated in the religious, ultra-conservative, deep south. Now, there’s a plan for growth. If you like anthrax and mold spores, that is. 

Even in the deep south, GOP governors took one look at the national GOP and retched. It was an easy choice for them. Either they support the National GOP and see their own states collapse, or they support America’s president, and hope that they can squeak through this economic mess. Florida’s Gov. Crist already made his choice. And pissed off the GOP something fierce, while getting glowing reviews from all Floridians. You’d think that the GOP brain trust would see the result and react. You’d be wrong. 

That leaves the GOP with only one possible choice. I call it the Blackwater solution. The GOP made the mistake of pushing out all moderates, destroying any ability to reach across political, social, racial, and even religious differences, and trying to compromise. They applied their ideas, and being bad ideas, the more they applied them, the worse the result. More of the same will simply make things that much worse. So, following Blackwater’s lead, the GOP will be changing its name.

(Disclaimer: The RNC tried to save money by using Blackwater’s ad agency for their new Brand and logo. The elephant will be replaced with a hippo-critter, and their new motto will be "There is no Tax that we can’t cut!" The name of the new and improved GOP?  "ZE!" )