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July 3, 2008 - 6:55am.
With patriotism at high ebb around the Fourth of July, and the Second Amendment with perfect timing having been confirmed as an individual right to own guns, I believe it is the hour when we the people must assert our ancient right to keep and bear fireworks. It makes no sense to me that Americans can have all sorts of guns, which they can use to shoot unsuspecting deer and suspecting burglars, yet many of them cannot let off an honest Roman candle or eardrum-assaulting firecracker as a sign of their American exuberance. As if connected to their history by a long burning fuse, the American people have always loved to blow things up (just ask anyone in Iraq). The history of this continent can be considered as a series of detonations. What is the first tune a child hears? Yes, "The Star-Spangled Banner," with the words that thrill the American soul: "The rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air." Some may quibble that this refers to artillery but that misses the point. Clearly, Francis Scott Key was much impressed with the pyrotechnic aspects of the spectacle and would have surely asked his British captors to play the "1812 Overture" as an accompaniment if only Tchaikovsky had been born. As it was, some historians believe he called for a folding chair and a few beers. Yet what have we come to in the land of the free and the home of the brave? Thanks to a web of restrictive state and municipal laws, some of us can only salute our freedom with a sparkler in our hand. Did Patrick Henry (no relation) say: "Give me liberty or give me a sparkler"? He did not, which is why I believe now is the time to shoot a rocket up the rear quarters of the frowning establishment who would protect us from our own considerable folly. Oh, yes, firecrackers are dangerous all right. Any idiot can blow his fingers off -- and many idiots do. But many idiots also shoot themselves or others, sometimes on purpose, sometimes not, because they are idiots. Thanks to the Supreme Court, their idiocy is of a superior nature now because it is rooted in the exercising of an individual constitutional right. If only fireworks lovers could reach the constitutional skies with their bottle rockets! Those who would keep and bear fireworks are being discriminated against. It is dreadfully unfair that young people should have to put a whiff of eau de gunpowder behind their ears to make themselves attractive in the hopes of marrying into the famous Zambelli fireworks family just so they can have the thrill of singeing their eyebrows. It is absurd that laws in some places restrict fireworks sales for in-state residents but not visitors. People in Pennsylvania, for example, should not have to pretend to be from Ohio -- donning Cleveland Browns jerseys and assuming the familiar hang dog look -- just to buy something combustible. But this being America, a remedy is at hand. We can sue. Hurrah for us! Other benighted peoples do not have access to so many attorneys. Better still, the Supreme Court stands ready to find a new individual right with some nifty reasoning that explains away any pesky words to the contrary, such as "well-regulated" and "militia," as it did in the historic Second Amendment case from Washington, D.C., last month. Those particular words don't mean a darn thing now, because Justice Antonin Scalia said so in his majority opinion -- and never mind what the people of the District of Columbia wanted. (Kiddies, can you say: "Activist judge"?) Why, James Madison, the amendment's author, would have been better off deleting them in the first place. He should have written something about fireworks while the ink was still on his quill. Not to worry. If Scalia and his fun-loving colleagues on the bench can discard as irrelevant some words in an amendment, they can certainly find new meanings in words already at hand elsewhere in the Bill of Rights. I refer your attention to the Ninth Amendment, henceforth to be known as the Firecracker Amendment: "The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people." Given the rolling thunderclaps of firecrackers since colonial times, this right of the people to blow up themselves and various mailboxes cannot be denied. A firework in a tube is not so functionally different than what the founders called a musket. If the court recognizes this, I believe we can add another verse to our national anthem: "Boom, boom, out goes the light (of common sense)."
(Reg Henry is a columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. E-mail rhenry(at)post-gazette.com)
Capitol Hill Blue's columnists, blogs and reader comments Capitol Hill Blue is an independent, non-partisan news site that belongs to no political party and subscribes to no political or philosophical point-of-view. Our columnists are welcome to their opinions but readers should understand that their views do not necessarily reflect the editorial policies of this web site. We also welcome comments to selected opinion columns and in our popular ReaderRant discussion forum. Please remember, however, that we believe in civility on this web site and comments may be reviewed, moderated or removed if we feel they contain obscenities, racism, bigotry, anti-Semitic remarks or attack other posters. Our goal is reasoned discussion on issues facing this nation and we do not feel that goal is served by personal attacks and by seeing how many cute adjectives you can attach to an elected official or politician's name. Copyright © 2008 Capitol Hill Blue
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Was it getting too serious
Submitted by woody188 on July 3, 2008 - 10:31am.Was it getting too serious here on CHB? What's with all the non-news items today? This article is funny.
I agree, we should also do away with seat belt and helmet laws. We should allow stupid people to kill themselves if they want.
Your rights stop at the
Submitted by Elmo on July 3, 2008 - 10:44am.Your rights stop at the point where they endanger others.
If you want to blow your hands off or blind yourself, go ahead. Just don't do it around my house. Or better yet, move to Texas and spend the 4th of July with a garden hose at the ready to deal with the fireworks that land on the roof of your house.
I recall some kids setting a
Submitted by woody188 on July 3, 2008 - 11:31am.I recall some kids setting a roof on fire when I lived up in Michigan.
Perhaps if they were legal then there would be places safe to set them off?
Or better yet, move to Texas
Submitted by pollchecker on July 3, 2008 - 8:25pm.Hey, I resent that. I lived in TX all my life. Yes we have fireworks outside the city limits but I have NEVER had to spend the holiday with a fire hose. In fact, the thought never crossed my mind.
The biggest danger of fireworks is someone blowing up a body part. And quite frankly, I don't want my tax dollars paying for someone else's stupidity. Next thing someone is going to say that fireworks are freedom of speech or freedom of religion. Geez!
Feel free to blow yourself
Submitted by Bluesman2007 on July 3, 2008 - 10:47pm.Feel free to blow yourself up or let your kids blow their fingers off or their eyes out. But we have quite enough fires to deal with in California already and we damned sure don't need any more. You want fireworks, light a match.
I live on acreage in a rural
Submitted by Carl Nemo on July 7, 2008 - 3:16am.I live on acreage in a rural area. Tonight it sounds like a firefight on the outskirts of the "Greenzone" in Bagdhad...!
Wut a bunch of looozers! I've known serious ordnance in my lifetime and I have to laugh at these 4th of July patriots.
I visited my branch bank the other day and the manager said to me that a local fireworks stand owner took in $17,600 bucks in the first day and 99 percent went on CC's...?!
So gas is pushing $5.00 at the pump, food prices are becoming a "moonshot" too while "village idiots" everywhere are buying fireworks to pop off in a several hour orgy in a pseudo-patriotic, noisome excercise...!
In the coming weeks they'll watch with morbid, insipid stupidity as their "their" USD craters as a function of more of "Helicopter" Ben's interest rate shenanigans in order to continue to bail out his crooked cabal of bankers and Wall Street traders that have ripped off this nation for the past 15 plus years or so.
Fairly soon oil will be $200 a barrel and gasoline $6.67 per gallon or more at the pump...?!
This Fourth of July, there should have been a 10 million plus march on D.C. shouting lets "hang'em high", but no they are blowing off fireworks courtesy of their CC with no doubt a $7500 balance...doh!? Soon they'll be working in a Chinese owned, American based coal mine as labor slaves...!
People that read my posts on occasion can no doubt sense I'm one pissed off citizen!
Carl Nemo **==
Fireworks are harmless fun
Submitted by Flapsaddle on July 4, 2008 - 3:22pm.Fireworks are harmless fun if handled safely and with due consideration for others. I do not regard access to and use of such pyrotechnics as being a right of any kind. After all, I doubt that even a platoon of ACLU lawyers could convince the most left-leaning judge on a federal bench that there is a penumbral right to them emanating from the Second Amendment or any other part of the Constitution.
Like Carl Nemo, I've seen plenty of real ordnance in action. I don't buy the patriotism shtick about fireworks any more than I subscribe to the touchy-feely position that they promote violence and militarism.
On this day in 1863, two groups of Americans saw the holiday with great sorrow. Robert E. Lee's Army of Northern Virginia was in retreat after being defeated the day before at Gettysburg. The long-beseiged and starving city of Vicksburg, Misissippi, was surrendering to Ulysses Grant's army, and in mourning Vicksburg would not celebrate the holiday again for some 80 years.
While they will probably be a washout here tonight because of the rain, the home-owners association here and several local businessmen generally have a considerable display to accompany the general merry-making. What I like is to see is the wonder and awe in the faces of young children as the sky lights up with colors and patterns and motion that must be truly fascinating to them.
To all here I wish a happy and entertaining holiday however you choose - or not - to celebrate, and tomorrow may your worst problem be a bit of sunburn or a hangover.
Most sincerely,
T. J. Flapsaddle
Thanks, as always T.J.F for
Submitted by Carl Nemo on July 4, 2008 - 8:47pm.Thanks, as always T.J.F for your thoughtful and educational commentary. : )
My apologies go out to readers for sounding like the "grinch" that ruined the 4th.
I spend too much time thinking about our seemingly imminent national demise which doesn't help my analysis or outlook concerning even simple things such as celebrating national holidays.
Carl Nemo **==
Carl-- all politics and no
Submitted by pollchecker on July 4, 2008 - 9:24pm.Carl-- all politics and no play makes anyone grumpy (very big grin). Take a break to celebrate that we still have a country. It's not gone yet!
I do have to agree with Carl
Submitted by Ladywolf55 on July 5, 2008 - 4:06am.I do have to agree with Carl about one issue, though. We live near several Fireworks outlets, big ones. We stopped at one to buy our daughter a few smoke bombs and pop caps, as we were going to two big fireworks displays this year and have no desire to buy home fireworks this year. I could not believe the huge amount of people, in ragtag clothes, buying hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks. Cartloads were being bought, and of course, paid for with credit cards.
My family could have afforded to buy them, but I refused to join the idiot club. Might as well take your dollars and light them with a fuse. Fireworks are fun, but not when they come at a cost plus interest payment, while everyone is struggling to put food on the table and be able to drive to work. No, we may have the money, but I refuse to spend it when there are so many others starving. I'd rather use my money to feed those who are hungry.
Last year, when fuel and food was more reasonable, I spent a bundle on fireworks, and enjoyed them, but there's a time and place, and this year, we decided to go to the public displays, and to not burn our money. I agree with Carl.
I enjoyed watching the
Submitted by pollchecker on July 5, 2008 - 2:49am.I enjoyed watching the firework display but have no use for them otherwise. As long as my tax dollars don't go to pay for disability for some jerk who blew his hand off with an M-80 I don't care. To each their own. There are more important stuff to put my energy into than some dumb ass fireworks that come out twice a year.
Thanks Ladywolf55 for your
Submitted by Carl Nemo on July 7, 2008 - 3:23am.Thanks Ladywolf55 for your thoughtful support. : )
Carl Nemo **==
You guys are way too
Submitted by almandine on July 7, 2008 - 11:32am.You guys are way too concrete on this one... to quote above: "Thanks to the Supreme Court, their [gun owners'] idiocy is of a superior nature now because it is rooted in the exercising of an individual constitutional right." Reg Henry, the Great Adjudicator, speaks on GUNS.
Give it up Reg, it's clear you don't get it. The Supremes didn't write the US Constitution, nor does your "nifty reasoning that explains away any pesky words to the contrary" deny or delegitimize the rights and responsibilities inherent in the 2nd, 9th, and 14th amendments.
And... as far as fireworks are concerned... the right to "bear arms" covers them, too. Common sense, and all.